Cultural sensitivity?

In all of my travels, I feel that I've gained a tremendous amount of cultural competency- that is an understanding of other cultures, traditions, expression, impressions, direct and indirect means of communication, appropriate dress, etc. Some things I've learned from making a major faux-paus, some things I've learned through observation or from reading or as advice from colleagues. For example in Stonetown, Zanzibar- a majority Muslim, but heavily touristed area, wearing clothes that cover more of your body and not your bikini and sheer cover up is preferred (I didn't make this mistake, but the hundreds of Italian tourists that descend on this town do). In Tanzania, when addressing an elder, you should greet them not with "Jambo" (hello), you should say "Sh'kamoo" (pronounced She-kah-mo and means "your humble servant" or "accept my blessings") to which the elder replies "Marahaba" (which means "blessing accepted"). I usually win a decent amount of brownie points when greeting Ministry officials with "Sh'kamoo."

But in all of my travels, there are a few cultural practices with which I have a really hard time being patient. I try, I think "Erin, c'mon this is just something that you're not used to because of your own American upbringing. It doesn't mean one person is better than another."

So a few of those things that I have a really hard time with:

- personal space
Americans are finicky about it- and I am one of them. The standing way too close to you while waiting in line for anything or the pushing or the cutting in line here in sub-Saharan Africa drives me crazy-- and almost more so when it's a woman doing that rather than a man. I try to be chill about it, but one time I remember in the Nairobi airport two white South African guys telling me that I needed to push back. Maybe I should?

- public use of toothpicks
So in most places in Africa the post-meal time, at-the-table activity is to take a toothpick and right there at the table start picking your meal out of your teeth. Some people do it more discreetly and use their other hand to cover the hand holding the toothpick while they basically floss at the table. Can't really get into it.

- sucking the marrow out of a bone
Fancy places in the U.S. do serve marrow and serve it in the bone. They also give you a fancy little spoon to dish out the marrow. Considered a delicacy. While over here on the continent, many times beef served in a stew is served still on the bone in chunks (Sorry if this is too graphic for anyone- hope you're not eating). After sopping up all the good stew and cleaning the meat off the bone clean, a few of my African friends/colleagues/acquaintances will then suck the marrow out of the bone. I can't get into it- won't do it- and just try to turn my head.

- asking directly for a stranger's number right after you ask if she is married, and likewise asking a stranger to sponsor you in the U.S.
So while this has happened to me in other countries, I think Sierra Leone wins in terms of numbers of times I've had men (ranging in age from 20's to 50's)--within a few minutes of meeting me-- have asked me (1) if I'm marry....to which I will say no and then they will ask for my phone number (both locally and in the U.S.; or (2) will ask me to sponsor them to go to the U.S. The marriage question just irks me- in some cases these guys are already married! The "sponsor me" question makes me sad as I know they see the U.S. as a place of opportunity. I mean I would probably want to try to get out of Sierra Leone too if I lived here. I told a few people about the story of Deo in Tracy Kidder's book "Strength in What Remains"-- the story of a medical doctor from Burundi who escaped during the civil war in Burundi and Rwanda, made it to the U.S. and squatted in a building in Harlem while delivering groceries. Just because you make it to the U.S. doesn't mean you're going to have all these opportunities come flooding to you. I sympathize, I empathize with the second request. The first request- of a phone number, of asking me to be their girlfriend- is just a little presumptuous- especially after five minutes.

Upon re-reading this entry it makes me feel completely UN-competent and IN-sensitive culturally. I hope those of you reading this read this with a lens of really thinking about what you are at your core. How you have grown up and the experiences and resources afforded to you really do shape who you are and shape how you think and how you interpret things. And, it's ultimately a daily struggle (at least in my work life) to deal with some of these things and remain patient, soft-spoken and polite, and respectful of my fellow residents on this earth.

But one thing most Africans completely supersede Americans on is being globally-competent! In almost all of my travels to Africa, one thing that I appreciate is that Africans are so much more globally in-tune to what is going on internationally. Their news (in addition to local) is BBC and international CNN. On the radio most often in our office vehicles is the BBC radio station. They are constantly exposed to and take in more international news than the average American. I mean back in the late 90's- did I even know about the civil war in Sierra Leone- no. But I did probably know which local high school won the football game that Friday. Aye....